11 Tips to Stay Calm During Your Wedding Planning
Mindfulness is your best friend during the most emotional and stressful time of your life.
Keep your mental peace
How hard can it be to plan a wedding? Get a venue that does everything, find something to wear and send the invitations to everybody. Sounds doable, right?
I wish had known what it actually means to plan a wedding. Drama, drama, drama plus a global pandemic and German bureaucracy. Whenever you plan your wedding, you will meet difficulties you never imagined before. The pressure is so high you feel like in a pressure cooker.
Be prepared for it so you can keep your mental peace during wedding planning and actually look forward to one of the best days of your life.
Whatever happens during your wedding planning, you can always choose the easier way. The easier way is when you accept things for what they are when you let things flow, forgive, and don’t overinterpret your ego.
Here is what I wish I had done before getting into the wedding planning madness.
I wish had known what it actually means to plan a wedding. Drama, drama, drama plus a global pandemic and German bureaucracy. Whenever you plan your wedding, you will meet difficulties you never imagined before. The pressure is so high you feel like in a pressure cooker.
Be prepared for it so you can keep your mental peace during wedding planning and actually look forward to one of the best days of your life.
Whatever happens during your wedding planning, you can always choose the easier way. The easier way is when you accept things for what they are when you let things flow, forgive, and don’t overinterpret your ego.
Here is what I wish I had done before getting into the wedding planning madness.
Write Down Your Wedding Vision
Do you remember Sex and the City — the movie? When Carrie planned her wedding with Mr. Big, it was supposed to be a small ceremony with friends and family, but ended up a high society event with over 100 people.
That's exactly why you need to write down your wedding vision. Often when we are tied up in things, we lose sight of what matters most to us.
Before you get into the details, sit back for a while or even a few days to imagine how you want your wedding. What is important to you during this day? Do you want a small wedding or a big one?
Don't listen to the voice inside your head or what other people think. If you are the boss (and you are), then how would you imagine your big day?
Write all of this down and come back to this during the planning madness. Remember, you invest a big amount of money on your wedding day, so don't let other people interfere with what you want.
That's exactly why you need to write down your wedding vision. Often when we are tied up in things, we lose sight of what matters most to us.
Before you get into the details, sit back for a while or even a few days to imagine how you want your wedding. What is important to you during this day? Do you want a small wedding or a big one?
Don't listen to the voice inside your head or what other people think. If you are the boss (and you are), then how would you imagine your big day?
Write all of this down and come back to this during the planning madness. Remember, you invest a big amount of money on your wedding day, so don't let other people interfere with what you want.
Get Your Partner on Board From the First Second
Let’s be honest, in most cases, women are in charge of wedding planning. Our partners often just have to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘you decide’. It’s exhausting!
The mental load of remembering every detail is on us. And believe me, there are a million things to think about.
We love choosing the venue, the dress, the decoration and we probably are better in it, but marriages are built together. So why not do the wedding planning together?
I carried most of the mental load and work of our wedding until I felt so fatigued that I realized I don't have to do it alone.
We are so much in the societal role of a woman being in charge of the wedding that we never discussed who is doing what. I just started doing it and he just accepted the convenient situation.
Open communication is key. I talked to my fiancé and told him I need him to share the work equally with me. First, he was shocked and didn't notice that I was doing all the work. But then he realized it and stepped up.
Wedding planning requires an equal amount of effort from both people.
As women, we often think we have to do everything alone because we are better at something or because we are supposed to do things, but that's wrong. We can shape our lives, relationships, and wedding planning however we want. This is 2021 after all.
Looking back, I would bring my partner on board from the beginning and share responsibilities equally and not just start doing everything alone.
The mental load of remembering every detail is on us. And believe me, there are a million things to think about.
We love choosing the venue, the dress, the decoration and we probably are better in it, but marriages are built together. So why not do the wedding planning together?
I carried most of the mental load and work of our wedding until I felt so fatigued that I realized I don't have to do it alone.
We are so much in the societal role of a woman being in charge of the wedding that we never discussed who is doing what. I just started doing it and he just accepted the convenient situation.
Open communication is key. I talked to my fiancé and told him I need him to share the work equally with me. First, he was shocked and didn't notice that I was doing all the work. But then he realized it and stepped up.
Wedding planning requires an equal amount of effort from both people.
As women, we often think we have to do everything alone because we are better at something or because we are supposed to do things, but that's wrong. We can shape our lives, relationships, and wedding planning however we want. This is 2021 after all.
Looking back, I would bring my partner on board from the beginning and share responsibilities equally and not just start doing everything alone.
Don't Involve Too Many People
A lot of decisions have to be made, and it’s tempting to ask friends and family for their opinion and approval. But the only approval you need for your dress, rings, venue, music is you and your partner’s.
If you need advice on something, choose the person wisely or ask a professional. Too many opinions are hard to handle and will only make you lose your vision and idea of how everything should be.
Make a Budget and Be Fine With It
The truth is a wedding is a financial burden. It will shock you how much everything costs. Therefore, it’s good to accept this from the beginning. You decided to celebrate your wedding and this will cost.
Make a budget according to your financial situation and then accept it. Acceptance is the only way forward.
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it, separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. — Eckhart Tolle
Feeling bitter about every cent will make you upset but not change anything.
Make a budget according to your financial situation and then accept it. Acceptance is the only way forward.
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it, separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. — Eckhart Tolle
Feeling bitter about every cent will make you upset but not change anything.
Make Miles Stones a Highlight
The way is the goal also counts for wedding planning. Your wedding day is just a tiny part of everything. Choosing the rings, the venue, the dress, the band, photographer are all little highlights.
Celebrate and enjoy them without stress. For example, combine the ring purchase with a nice couple dinner afterward, celebrating how far you have come.
Like this, every step leading up to your wedding is fun. Live in the here and now and never forget the present moment is all we have.
Celebrate and enjoy them without stress. For example, combine the ring purchase with a nice couple dinner afterward, celebrating how far you have come.
Like this, every step leading up to your wedding is fun. Live in the here and now and never forget the present moment is all we have.
Boundaries Are Your Best Friend
Why do people think your wedding day is about them? I have no idea. Especially, your close family members will try to force their opinions or old traditions on you. Just saying the guest list drama…
Whatever will come up, make sure you set clear boundaries. Thank your family members for their suggestions and tell them you have decided and you would appreciate it if they accept your decision.
If topics come up again and again, just repeat that you have made your decision. It is not easy, but the only way to stay true to yourself. You can never make it right for everybody. Your job is to make it right for you and your love.
Think about it, on your wedding day you have a very limited amount of time and you want to spend it with people you really care about. The people who genuinely celebrate your love with you and not just feel obliged to come because they are invited or you are related should be on the guest list. Love yourself enough to set boundaries. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept. — Anna Taylor
It will be hard at first and the people around you might feel hurt and resist, but when they learn they have no choice, they will fall in line.
Stand your ground and set healthy boundaries!
Whatever will come up, make sure you set clear boundaries. Thank your family members for their suggestions and tell them you have decided and you would appreciate it if they accept your decision.
If topics come up again and again, just repeat that you have made your decision. It is not easy, but the only way to stay true to yourself. You can never make it right for everybody. Your job is to make it right for you and your love.
Think about it, on your wedding day you have a very limited amount of time and you want to spend it with people you really care about. The people who genuinely celebrate your love with you and not just feel obliged to come because they are invited or you are related should be on the guest list. Love yourself enough to set boundaries. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept. — Anna Taylor
It will be hard at first and the people around you might feel hurt and resist, but when they learn they have no choice, they will fall in line.
Stand your ground and set healthy boundaries!
Honor Your Self-Care Routine
I won't lie to you. The last 3–2 months before the wedding can be extremely stressful, especially in times of uncertainty. Thank you, Covid!
During this time, you need to keep up with your self-care routines to stay Zen — or should I say sane? Do yoga, read a book, go for a run or cook a healthy meal. This is what habits are for keeping you on track during rough times!
An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly. — Unknown
Permit yourself to pause. You deserve it! If you still feel overwhelmed, here are my 6 tools to instantly become calm and grounded.
During this time, you need to keep up with your self-care routines to stay Zen — or should I say sane? Do yoga, read a book, go for a run or cook a healthy meal. This is what habits are for keeping you on track during rough times!
An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly. — Unknown
Permit yourself to pause. You deserve it! If you still feel overwhelmed, here are my 6 tools to instantly become calm and grounded.
Quit Social Media 1 Month Before Your Big Day
Don’t care about all the details, all the things that you could do better. I tell you one thing: nobody will remember all these details. One year after the wedding, the vibe, the music, the feeling makes it into people's memories, not the Pinterest-perfect candy bar.
Who cares about the rest? You? No, on your wedding day, you won't have time to look at the details. The day passes so quickly it all blurs at the end. You only remember and feel the love from inside.
No matter if everything looks like on your Pinterest board or not, it won't make a difference. Save your precious time for the things that really count.
Don't spend any time on Pinterest or Instagram the last month before your wedding to take off the pressure and the feeling you didn't do enough.
Your wedding will be perfect no matter what. It’s all about love, friendship, and happiness. Things cannot compete with this.
Who cares about the rest? You? No, on your wedding day, you won't have time to look at the details. The day passes so quickly it all blurs at the end. You only remember and feel the love from inside.
No matter if everything looks like on your Pinterest board or not, it won't make a difference. Save your precious time for the things that really count.
Don't spend any time on Pinterest or Instagram the last month before your wedding to take off the pressure and the feeling you didn't do enough.
Your wedding will be perfect no matter what. It’s all about love, friendship, and happiness. Things cannot compete with this.
Make a Wedding Day Plan
As you are the key person with your partner, it will be difficult to take care of everything. But what you can do is make a concrete plan for the wedding day and write down all the important things for people to know.
Then you can relax during your wedding and trust the people you hired will do a good job. Let things flow and relax. Bonus Tip: Ask your photographer for input on your wedding day plan. They have been to plenty of weddings and are professionals who can give you valuable advice.
Then you can relax during your wedding and trust the people you hired will do a good job. Let things flow and relax. Bonus Tip: Ask your photographer for input on your wedding day plan. They have been to plenty of weddings and are professionals who can give you valuable advice.
Find an Organizer for Your Big Day
You need somebody who is the main contact person for all organizational things during your big day. Ask a family member, friend, or hire somebody.
Only then will you be able to relax. Also, you have a very busy day and cannot do everything. You have to go to photoshoots etc. so during this time you need a person who can take care of the organizational stuff.
Only then will you be able to relax. Also, you have a very busy day and cannot do everything. You have to go to photoshoots etc. so during this time you need a person who can take care of the organizational stuff.
Let Go of Attachments and Be In the Moment
You have prepared so hard for your wedding day and there will still be things which don't go as planned. That's normal. If you can accept this before your wedding, you can let go of the attachment to have the ‘perfect’ wedding.
The perfect wedding is only an illusion created by your ego through social conditioning. Become aware of it and let go. Most important is that you both enjoy this special day and soak in every second of it. It passes so quickly don't waste a damn minute thinking about the future or the past. Just be there!
The perfect wedding is only an illusion created by your ego through social conditioning. Become aware of it and let go. Most important is that you both enjoy this special day and soak in every second of it. It passes so quickly don't waste a damn minute thinking about the future or the past. Just be there!
I never thought I would get married, but when I met my soulmate, everything changed. Whatever life throws at you during your wedding planning always remember what this day is about celebrating your love and that you found each other. There is nothing that can ruin the deep feeling you have for each other.
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Useful Resources:
- Menu Lengkap - Paket Catering Prasmanan
- Paket Wedding Organizer Jakarta
- Spesial Catering Pernikahan di Jakarta.